Reading between the lines of internet dating profiles when you’re a “woman looking for a man”.

I’ve been on internet dating. A lot.

Internet dating is where I met my ex-husband (no regrets — we’ve had quite the ride); and where I’ve forged a few key long-term relationships. It’s where I’ve met some lovely men with whom I simply didn’t gel; where I’ve had my heart ripped out my chest and stamped on (not literally, thank goodness, and I was wholly complicit in the experience) — and where I’ve had some … singular encounters (a post or two, or three, for another day).

I’ve been on and off and on it again so much — conducting selfless extensive research, juste pour vous, dear reader — that, combined with a fair few years of studying human behaviour and the secret agendas of the psyche, I’ve come up with a fairly reliable list of Things To Notice* when you look at a profile and in the initial stages of an online chat. They’re not 100% reliable. What is? But as rules of thumb they have proven themselves time and again**.

So, without further delay, here are the first three of six (you’ll find the rest in Part II, coming next):

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